I hope it can continue just a little while longer!

I was going to write about Jim Morrison death, then I thought it would be a real cliché. He would not like such a lack of originality.

I was going to say that I was thinking a lot about my life lately, meaning of life, why people hurt other people? The war, the hunger, all the stupidity around religions, about God, all those questions marks in my head. Am I having a middle life crises? I am 42 after all.

Then it hit me: I've been thinking about those questions since I was very young, like fithteen or so. My parents said I was ahead of my time, that I was rebel, despite all the big dreams I had, all I really wanted was to be a Philosophy teacher. I don't like to brag about myself but I always felt like a free spirit, a wild child, a lot of times a misunderstood soul.

I got in touch with Jim Morrison's poetry when I was sixteen years old, I got so amazed by everything he did. I started to read Aldous Huxley, William Blake and Nietzsche. I felt that I did not belong my surroundings. Jim's way to be was something I could relate. I never tried LSD tough. It was offered to me but I declined. Never had this urge to do drugs. I was never curious about it. I can not say the same about alcohol. It was my friend for a long long time.

I wanted to belong, I wanted to fit in. I still do, It's amazing how much you have to hide in order to get a good job. People are so judgmental. You have no freedom whatsoever. Freedom is just an illusion, When you start to think that you don't even have the power to choose where to live. You can't travel unless you have a visa for example. America -  land of the free - they say. Total BS.

Brazil is not any different, don't you think is easy to come live in here. I believe this is the most bureaucratic place I know. Is Europe, Asia, Africa any different? NO, the whole world is fucked up.

That's why when you see someone like Jim Morrison you just have to bow in reverence. I don't believe in idols, It's a huge admiration. I admire the whole band actually. The Doors is the best band in the world for me. Forget Beatles, forget Rolling Stones. They are the best (period).
I did not want to be a cliché, but I just can't win here. I tried.

I like to think Jim had a good laugh after recording this Queen of the Highway Jazz Version.   Wherever you are right now. I do hope this can continue a little while longer!

Wonderful Awkwardness!

When you're browsing Instagram you see those perfect lunches, everything is beautiful and awesome, it's quite annoying to be honest, that's why I love this series by Brian Finke, showing real people like me, like you, lunching in front of the computer at work.
All the messiness, the crumbs in your keyboard and of course the multitasking. Please enjoy!

Amazed by the selection of pepper sauce here!

We all do it!

Why not?

And your eyes were cold as the ocean...

I've been thinking about the existence of a soul mate and if you can really love more than once, I still have no answer to it but I suppose when you listen to a song like this and you remember your old love, it means you only love once. Too bad his eyes are cold as the ocean now. Happy Thursday!

Timing!

In 2012 I downloaded a winter playlist from Kinfolk Magazine and as usual I probably listened to one or two songs. Today I decided to look for something to sleep and I found this delicate, calm and at the same time deep song, from this duet called Orcas, this song is part of that playlist that I totally ignored two years ago and now I'm completely in love with it. What is the lesson here? Timing is crucial, it's ok to ignore somethings but it's very important to keep them and this apply to people too, you never know when you are gonna need a person, some comfort of an old song, some words from a ignored book. Well that gives me hope, because that special one will find me back eventually, there's time.
Enjoy and happy Wednesday!

I never felt magic crazy as this!

I did not eat turkey or any pumpkin pie, but I've been celebrating Thanksgiving since yesterday and I can tell you it was magic crazy, lots of healthy foods, chocolate, beer and a really different Scooby Doo movie this afternoon! Laughs, deep talks, pure love between friends, sweaty hugs and refreshing moments under the AC of my car. I'm ready for Christmas!

I never cared about money and all its friends!

I'm in total bliss with this song my friend Ben sent me, in fact he sent me the whole Chelsea Wolfe's album, months ago but I just had the opportunity to pay attention to it closely right now. It's by far the most beautiful song I have ever listened to. It makes me wanna hug people and spread the love, actually I never felt so loved in my life, I thought I would be sad this month because I did not manage to travel so I stayed in Sao Paulo for the first time in years and I could not be happier, I'm spending so many good times with my son and my friends, I love my friends so bad, they are so good to me and I really don't know what would I do without them. Happy Wednesday!

I'm singing this song but I can't sing enough!

I'm a lucky woman and I have the best friends a person could ask and today I want to talk about this special one Benjamim Karam, I have written about him already, but it's never enough, because he's so talented, he reads way more than I do and he loves Dylan way more than I do! He has a really cool blog, he takes awesome photos, he's really into literature, he writes poems and wait for it: he reads William Blake! I would love to go to cafe with him and talk deeply about life, coffee, music and Nietzsche! But he lives so far away, when I'm going to sleep he's waking up!
We have known each other since 2010, via twitter, he just told me that, what a surprise, I totally forgot about that, my point is, since then he sent me so many songs, the last album he sent me was Mazzy Star that I truly love, I can't even tell you. But what I love most about him is that he's so kind, he tells me the perfect thing, he puts me up all the time and he takes time to come here and read this blog, since forever. So Ben, this is for you, hope we can meet up someday!

I wish everybody knew, what's so great about you!

The National makes me think about life and love and how much I care about this friend of mine and how important he is in my life right now and even though we're apart most  part of the time, when I really need him he's there for me and that's enough. This is one of my favorite songs from their last album and the lyrics could not be more perfect.
I have chosen this video because I really admire Annie Erin Clark from St Vincent, she's a really good guitar player and she adds a lot to their band.

Oh, when I lift you up

You feel like a hundred times yourself

I wish everybody knew

What's so great about you

Oh, but your love is such a swamp

You don't think before you jump

And I said I wouldn't get sucked in

This is the last time

Oh, don't tell anyone I'm here

I got Tylenol and beer

I was thinking that you'd call somebody

Closer to you

Oh, but your love is such a swamp

You're the only thing I want

And I said I wouldn't cry about it

This is the last time

This is the last time

We were so under the brine

We were so vacant and kind

We were so under the brine

We were so vacant

We were so under the brine

We were so out of our minds

We were so under the brine

We were so vacant

Oh, when I lift you up

You feel like a hundred times yourself

I wish everybody knew

What's so great about you

Oh, but your love is such a swamp

You don't think before you jump

And I said I wouldn't get sucked in

I won't be vacant anymore

I won't be waiting anymore

I won't be vacant anymore

I won't be waiting anymore

I won't be vacant anymore

I won't be waiting anymore

I won't be vacant anymore

I won't be waiting anymore

Jenny, I am in trouble

Can't get these thoughts out of me

Jenny, I'm seeing double

I know this changes everything

Jenny, I am in trouble

Can't get these thoughts out of me

Jenny, I'm seeing double

I know this changes everything 

It takes a lot of pain to pick me up

It takes a lot of rain in the cup

Baby you gave me bad ideas

Baby you left me sad and high

Aziz Ansari!

I love Aziz Ansari, he's an awesome actor and of course an amazing stand up comedian, I came across this video this morning and it really caught my attention because the phones are taking our lives over, we are always connected, we are always texting and it got to the point that is not only between your friends anymore, my dad is really into texting now, he texts me all the time, my son too and I get amazed on the abbreviations he uses, in Portuguese we use a lot of graphic accents and the teenagers lose all of them via whatsapp, it annoys me a lot, I text all the time and believe me I can go like 3 hours on whatsapp, I'm a nerd but I use the correct portuguese ad the correct english, I guess I'm really old fashioned, the worst part is that I've became pretty lazy to talk on the phone, I've been avoiding phone calls lately, I have noticed that, so if you want to talk to me, skype me, whatsapp me, FB me, email me, but do not call me unless you have a really sexy voice, haha. Just kidding, call me I will answer eventually. Anyways this video is great, take a look:

 

Photo of the week!

This week I have decided to take some photos myself, it was a really sunny day here in Sao Paulo so I decided to go downtown via subway, got some really good headphones and spent my afternoon at this coffee place I really like, the little pleasures of life, coffee, bread, butter and music, what else do we need? Happy Sunday!

Day Off!

I did not really take the day off, but I'm slowing down and I will probably take some days off next week, so I'm preparing myself, I can't never disconnect, I find pretty hard to be away from my computer or my Iphone, even when I go to the beach I bring my Iphone to take some pictures and since I have 3G I end up checking facebook or instagram. Today my son showed me a video on how would be life without internet and I wonder what would I do? No matter what I do, I interact with people all the time but my perfect days always end with me my laptop, today for example I'm listening to Miles Davis on Youtube, reading beauty magazines at the same time and of course I had to blog a bit. I'm thinking about Christmas and New Years, it hit me this is going to be my first Christmas as a single woman, because I've been dating or married since forever, it's weird but good, I don't need to buy a turkey or make cranberry sauce since here in Brazil we don't really care about it, there is not fight about where to go on new years, I can go where ever I want to and I can wear white again, that's not a good thing, scrap that, (it's a tradition in Brazil to wear white during new year's eve, but it's tacky as hell, so I'm not doing that), I don't really know what to do for new years, I will concentrate on Xmas, I love every single thing about it besides the fact that I'm in a tropical country. There is no snow, the weather is hot, there is no fire place and we will be turning the fan on but I'm sure it's going to be great, I'm pretty excited. Happy Thursday! :)

That Bloody Mary's lacking in Tabasco!

Have you ever felt this way, like life is kind of lacking in tabasco? Well, sometimes it's good to unspicy things up and just chill. I have a busy life and I go out pretty much everyday but my best moments are at home with my son or when I'm alone just me and my laptop. It's good to lose the fishnet and just wear a nightdress, like he says in this song. I'm in love with Artic Monkeys, actually I'm totally in love with English music in general, I just adore their accents and their style, when I was 13 my dream was to go to London to meet Robert Smith, twenty six years later I have traveled pretty much the whole Europe but never UK, shame on me. And every time I think about traveling I just want to go to Amsterdam, I need to be in Buenos Aires in nine days but I did not even book my tickets, when did I get so attached to KLM? I guess I'm still a fluorescent adolescent! :)

40 Day Dream!

If you read this blog, you know I'm totally passionate about Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros, I have all the albums and I listen their songs like crazy and it's hard for me to chose a favorite song, but this one in particular makes me so happy, I sing and dance when I listen to it and my heart gets filled with joy and love, that's the spirit right? I have hope they can come to Brazil, otherwise I will have to fly to LA to check them live. I love everything that comes from the US but I don't really see myself flying to United States, I have made new plans for 2014, I wanna go to Israel, never thought I would say that, but it's true, the good thing I can fly KLM and stop by Amsterdam. But who knows maybe I will be able to fly twice next year. Back to the song, if you feeling down, please check this out, it's like instant happiness!

I say reaching for Heaven is what I'm on Earth to do!

I would like to talk a little bit about God this week and Jesus had an amazing impact in my life this year, he showed me a new way, a glorious one, a garden full of flowers and fruits, he showed me that life is hard but beautiful to live anywhere, that home is where your love is and love is all around and I'm the living proof that God exists and that being part of a church, part of Jesus Christ community, does not make you boring or old. I still love music, to dance, to have fun, nothing changed just my way to view things, to face the problems, I enjoy praying and talking to my Lord, every single day. Take sometime to talk to God, He never let us down. Happy Monday!

Wake Up!

I had an amazing Friday, I was with this dear friend of mine and he makes me so happy, we were listening to this album, Funeral and I started to listen to Arcade Fire because of him, this year, shame on me, I knew them, but I was not into it and I'm totally in love now - I have chosen this video because it's live in Paradiso, Amsterdam, it's such a great and beautiful venue and if you read this blog you know how passionate I am about Holland - but what I want to share here is, sometimes I don't tell people face to face how great they are, how awesome they make me feel, then I come back home and I feel like calling and saying hey, you're awesome and I love you, but instead I come here and write about it. But this friend of mine is so busy that I'm sure he has not time to come here and read it, I always have to send the song in and write how much I care about him, I'm not good with words in person, I always say the wrong thing, I always had to fix it, texting via phone, email or facebook. What can I do? I'm only good writing it and I have noticed I've been doing this a lot and even when I get a present I don't show myself super excited about it until I get home and then I have picture it and put it on instagram or so, I don't know, sometimes I feel so thankful and grateful that I become speechless because life has being so great lately and I have so many amazing people around me, friends I truly truly love and thank God I write about them and I tell them at least via text how great and special they are.
 Well, this friend in particular, I'm sure he's going to be my friend forever, no matter what, because we were apart for almost eight years and even after all this time he never forgot me, I never forgot him, even though I never ever messaged him all these years, when reconnected, he did say I was kind of bad educated but he was never bitter or anything like that, he understood my reasons. That's real friendship, you know that person will be there for you, no matter what. He proves me that all the time, he's always there for me and he understands me, that's the most awesome thing about him. If you are reading this, you may think I'm in love with this person and I was, but real love between friends is way better than having a shallow and quick passion.
Life is amazing beautiful, why do we need to label things? He's my friend, he's not my boyfriend, not my husband. Why would I need one, I had two already. Now it's time for me to grown up for real and live life taking it easy.

Happy Weekend!

Without you there are no other colours!

I took the week to talk about love, I feel so romantic that I guess I'm really in love! Yesterday I went to therapy and I was so secure about my relationship, my work and family life that she told me I'm done, I don't need to go anymore, it was so fast, I've been seeing her since march, some patients stay 5 years with medication, I'm more than happy I'm cured. I credit Jesus Christ for this big change in my life and I have changed so much since I have found him. I still have a lot of friends who do not believe in God and I simply can not understand that, I hope somehow they can see the truth one day. Continuing about love, this is the song I'm listening to right now. Money Mark - Black Butterfly. I wish some day some guy can write a song like this for me.

I think about it all the time!

I'm listening to Soldout while I do my expenses report, yes I took the day to work hard! Excel tabs are so boring that I had to stop to blog a bit and all I'm thinking is:

Tell me how you sleep at night
Tell me who to look like 
Teach me how to smile right 
Give me all the time you have 
Tell me how you sleep at night
Tell me how you sleep at night
I think about it all the time
I think of all of the 
All things that I wont need 
All thing that I wont be 
Call it trouble and worries 
All things that I wont keep 
All the letters I wont read 
Everythings for the glory 
Tell me how you sleep at night 
Tell me where you run so fast
I wish you were on my side 
I wish I was on your heart 
Tell me how to camouflage
I think its all they want now
I think about it all the time
 I think of all of the 
 All things that I wont need 
All thing that I wont see 
Call it trouble and worries 
All thing that I wont keep
All the letters I wont read
Everythings for the glory 
All of the pages, the papers, the numbers, 
Remember the burden, the trouble, the pressure of

Sheer Simplicity!

Good Morning folks, I woke up listening to this song and this was the first Kings of Convenience's song I ever listened back in July 2006, in Holland, Every time I listen to this song my thoughts travel to that year, I remember coming back from the beach, it was night time and we were listening to this album in the car, it was summer and I can never forget that feeling. Riot on an Empty Street is the name of the album and I can totally say it's my favourite album, from all the CD's I have.

I've been having money issues because I spend too much and this isn't new, I have money issues since forever, not because I earn little or so but because most part of the time I live like I'm a millionaire, I buy a lot of jewelry, expensive creams, lots of Cds, shoes, books, magazines, I go to fancy restaurants, I do a lot massages, manicure, pedicure, hairdresser, if you don't know me you would say I'm shallow, but if you read this blog you know I'm far away from being shallow. I have no limits sometimes and I'm trying to be more simple. In this song he says:

What is there to know? 
All this is what it is 
 You and me alone
 Sheer simplicity

I used to sing this to my son, after all, he's my family and we are such a good team, I knew since my son was in my belly that he would be my best friend forever, and I'm so blessed because he gets me and last week we were talking about cars and I totally hate SUVs or any family car, I have a small one, totally customized, perfect to speed and I yes I love to speed, but here in Brazil it's ridiculous, the speed limit on avenues is 60 Km/h so I have a lot of speed limit tickets this year. What I'm trying to say is, we were talking about big cars and I told him what would we need a big car, it's just two of us, sure that sometimes I give his friends a ride, but never to travel. He said: yes mum, if you get more money in the future let's get  a BMW or an Audi, he's the best I know. So this is the song of the day: know how. I need know how to manage my bank account!

We can all be free!

I was going to write a bunch here and be deep, but sometimes is good to be shallow, so here is what I'm listening to, I'm thinking about love and even though I'm apart from my love right now I write about it to keep me closer and I think we all can be free and love at the same time!

Wear Sunscream!

I saw this very best video in 2005 and I was so affected by every word he says that I've been following his advice since then. I dance, I keep all my love letters, I get plenty of calcium, I enjoy my body and I'm not afraid of it and I wear sunscreen since I'm 20.  But something that really got me was being almost 40 and knowing that life is just beginning. Today I do everything I used to do but with more experience and more energy and I manage to do way more things because I sleep less, I wake up early, go sleep late, so I enjoy life more. I supposed to be a philosopher but I dropped school, I have way too much energy to stay thinking about life, but instead I multitask, everyday, and I'm always thinking about the meaning of my life. What I have learned is that I needed to let it go a lot of things and I did it, this year, and a great new life has opened for me, now I need to stop congratulating myself and stop thinking I'm awesome and get humble, that's what I need. But trust me, wear sunscreen and eye cream, take care of your face and your body, it's your post card. Life is hard, life isn't easy, thank God, otherwise it would be so boring. My point is life is all happiness if you put yourself into it.

Happy Sunday!